Birthday Weekend / NYC - Part Tres

Sunday morning was rough.

First, who knew that a full day of running around NYC could take so much out of you? We overslept by an hour, then by the time we got to the lobby we learned we had just missed the hourly shuttle to the train junction. "Oh, there'll be another in 15-20 minutes when he comes back," said the handsome yet tragically clueless desk clerk. We waited for the next hour in the lobby as Giants fans dressed only in Giants jerseys and Giants colors went in and out, completely oblivious to the realization that it was their actions, in fact, that caused the automatic revolving door to keep e-stopping.

Eventually we boarded the shuttle and made it to the Secaucus Train Junction; compared to the PATH system, one would think this particular stop was built exclusively for American monarchy. Double-decker trains? Friendly employees? Cleanliness?! Toto, we're not in Jersey City anymore.

We arrive at the underground clusterfuck known as Penn Station. Had I been more aware of my surroundings, I may have left a breadcrumb trail in which to follow back that evening. How silly of me!

But first things first -- get to Rockefeller Center so we can get our free admission to the tours offered there. Yes, for just $105 for 3-days, we got into those tours for free; the museums for free; a zillion other places for free. It's an amazing deal, especially if you cram a lot in. But back to the Rock; it turns out that getting both tours on the same day was unadvisable, so we took an afternoon time for the Rockefeller Center tour and a Monday morning spot for the NBC Studios tour. We then had some time free and our tummies were rumbling, so...

... Lunchtime it was! Once again, Urbanspoon did a terrible job of making recommendations; or perhaps I was just confused when $$ in Ohio most certainly didn't correlate with $$ in NYC. It soon turned to "that place! smells of food! we go to there now!" or something, and Ray's Pizza it was. It felt slightly franchise-y (it is) yet local enough to not feel like I traveled 500 miles to eat at a chain restaurant. But holy cow was the pizza good! Found yet another winner here.

From there we jaunted over to mid-midtown (25th street, to be precise) so we could partake in one of the city's other cultural gems: The Museum of Sex. Free with our pass, we were wholly unprepared for the triple gallery of animal sexual habits, human sexuality in the media, and gadgets and other sexual aids throughout history. But sure enough, there were petrified penises of all shapes and sizes, sculptures of deer mounting each other, stories about homosexual necrophiliac ducks, and who could forget the panda porn video? The visual fun certainly didn't end when in the next room, tabletop screens were looping the Paris Hilton sex video while other TVs were showing everything from nudist films to There's Something About Mary. Did I mention the gift shop? No? Well I guess you'll just have to visit there yourself!

Rush back up to 49th (today was all-subway, mind you) for our Rock tour. We meet up with our tour guide and about 20 or so others; we're given wireless receivers and headphones so we can listed to our guide amongst the crowds (a necessity, given the seemingly millions of people there that day to take pictures of themselves in front of a tree). We roamed the hallways of 30 Rock, learning about the art on the walls and the history of how the complex came to be. At other points, we cut across streets to buildings I never guessed were part of the Center, and later took shortcuts in the expansive (and warm!) concourse below ground level. So despite disapopintingly not getting to see Liz Lemon, Jack Donneghy or Tracy Jordan, I still felt more educated and enlightened afterwards.

Though the Empire State Building was on our radar, my brilliant plan to head up there late afternoon in order to catch sunset and follow up with the city at night was blown, as the tour had gone past five. Backup plan: let's go shopping! I wasn't planning to buy anything, but where else are you going to find so many flagship stores besides on fifth ave?

There were some familiar places -- Bloomingdales (ran into Zach from Cedar Point manning the watch booth) and THE Apple Store, all sleek and modern beneath a glass cube exterior. Then there were the unfamiliar. We perused the Louis Vuitton outlet; I was aghast at $600 plain polo shirts, but Clint was loving the $4k coat he tried on. I got yelled at for taking a photo inside Tiffany's, which didn't even bother listing prices. And somewhere in the middle of it all was the magical fantastical FAO Schwarz, which I had only seen in the movie Big but never visited. There it was, the Big Piano in all of its harmonic glory. Whereas Toys R' Us has an industrial, and dare I say Times Square manic-like feeling, FAO was cozy, warm, inviting. The kind of store one can get lost in without someone willing to pull you back out.

As the evening progressed, the shops began closing their doors -- it was time to move on. Next on the agenda, as alluded to earlier, was the Empire State Building. I mean, they're open until 2! Plenty of time, especially with the waits that place has. Well, apparently not on Sunday nights they don't. We snaked through a lengthy yet empty queue no doubt set up to hold a couple thousand visitors. Meanwhile the staff, who more or less outnumbered the tourists 2-to-1 and had noticeably little to do, felt obligated to yell and pester people. I even took a name, though I was too lazy to report him.

Unfortunately the observation deck left something to be desired as well. Half was closed off due to supposed high winds, while the entire interior was being remodeled and looked terrible. Luckily our NYC passes got us in for free, though I doubt everyone else got their trip for half off. Oh, and I may have been less than enthused that my camera battery had lost its charge too.

Given our luck in that building it should have occurred to us to skip the restaurant on the first floor, but it was already after 9, our stomachs were growling, and it didn't look half bad. Oops. We were seated at a tiny table sandwiched tightly between two other tables, we might as well have combined them all together. Our waiter apparently forgot he was in the service industry. And the food... well, the steak was ok, but I still think it may have played a role in the following day's misery.

As we walked back down 34th, we passed no fewer than about 30 police cars traveling in the opposite direction, each following another and all with their sirens blaring. Such a force would exceed that of most towns, but here they are, zipping by as if the Cloverfield Monster was spotted by the Brooklyn Bridge. Gotta love NY.

The day concludes underground, as we attempt to find our way back to the NJ Transit part of Penn Station. Oh how did we forget about the tiny staircase or the escalator tucked off to the side? Finally we found it (and with over a half hour to spare!) but after Clint nearly got hit with a lawsuit from a crazy nutjob (don't ask), we decided to go shopping one last time. And what better place than a subterranean K-Mart! Not knowing how many floors beneath ground level we were only made it even more surreal.

Back to the hotel for some much needed sleep. Only one day left in the city, I hope it's memorable...